I’ve never made a decision before. Now I have to make one for the rest of my life.
It’s the beginning of the year and that season again.
No, not the flu season (even though we are facing an epidemic of sorts).
It’s the season of decide-what-I-want-to-do-for-the-rest-of-my-life. For 17-year-olds in Singapore at least.
This New Year spring, I’ve received no less than two requests for some advice on what to do/what course to choose as ITE/Junior College/Polytechnic students prepare for examinations and start charting their paths to the course and/or university of their choice.
Two is not a lot, but given the number of people that I know — two is a lot. And I imagine there are more students out there with similar questions. I know at 14/15/16/17/18/19/20–24, I definitely did!
How Am I Qualified?
First of all, how am I even qualified to answer these questions? My qualifications are just that I have been through this period of my life in the Singapore system before, not too long ago.
Perhaps I can offer a different perspective from your parents and/or school career counsellor.
First Question: What Course To Pick
When I was in school, there was a few ways to go about doing this. In general, popular strategies include:
- Which course is the most respected?
- Which course is the easiest, and earns the most money?
- Which course is something that I am good at?
- Which course is something that I am interested in?
- Which course will allow me to do the most number of things?
I know I was searching for a course that I could manage and would earn a lot of money (i.e. number 2). I was also indecisive and wanted to delay my decision for as long as possible (number 5).
I would not recommend trying to hold on to as many options as possible. The earlier you can settle on something, the better.
The trouble is what to settle on.
Whilst it is true that it is important to suss out demand for a particular course; it’s also important to consider one’s own inclinations and strengths. Which is the course that will allow you to develop your strengths? Or perhaps balance a weakness? Which is one that will make you exuberant? If you decided to answer the demand question first, then the next question becomes a matter of personal malleability: Can you see yourself working on such-and-such for four years? (More, actually! If you are thinking of using your degree.) Possibly having to fit yourself into a mould to meet the demand? Is it a good fit, or a tight squeeze?
The truth is, the order of these questions are a little wrong. The first two questions are posed from the outside looking in; whilst the answers to the next two questions are generated from within. Is one more important than another? I think, yes. I think in order to excel in anything, a certain level of interest has to be there. That is the minimum pre-requisite, barring any aptitude measurables. Does this mean interest overrides everything else? No. We still live in a world of reality.
If you are interested in something, you will find a way to get it to work. So if you answer the internal questions first, what you are interested in, what you are comfortable doing, and let them guide you as you review the external questions of, what society needs and pays for, you may be able to arrive at a decision that you feel to be more authentic. More true to yourself. More you.
Second Question: Which University To Apply To
Go local! Haha I’m kidding. I know some students who have their heart set on certain big-name universities that are not in Singapore. That’s okay. But I would personally be more interested in an individual who goes to a place that isn’t on every Singaporean child’s wish-list; for example, a university in a country where the first language is not English. Your third-language would give you some advantage over others when you look for a job in the future. Your unique experience will probably also open up other unique opportunities.
That being said, we actually really do have some very awesome, world-class local institutions here. And they come at a fraction of the cost if you were to study abroad. You won’t have to deal with culture shock, laundry or eating cold sandwiches.
One popular combination is to study at a local institution and also do an overseas stint during a semester or holiday break, if the opportunity presents itself, to get that international exposure.
By the way, I recommend doing your own laundry even if you study local. Just a good life skill to pick up before you hit 20.
Third Question: Should I Go for a Scholarship
Your education is paid for, you have a job (bond) waiting for you upon graduation — what’s not to love?
The only downside is that you probably need to show that you are very sure of what you want. And you’ll have added pressure to perform well in school. If you know what you want and can take the heat — go for it.
And if you don’t get the scholarship that you so desperately wanted, don’t sweat it. Life has other things in store for you.
If your concern is financial assistance, look at your school’s financial aid options and government bursaries. Most institutions provide some form of financial aid for needy students one way or the other. I did have some classmates who would do part-time work to supplement any form of financial assistance they had (or didn’t have), though. I think this depended more on the spending power the individual wanted to have. I say this because as a casual observer, the part-time work seemed very well managed, and not done from a point of absolute necessity (being forced). I was very impressed with these classmates.
Actually The Most Important Question: What Am I Doing With My Life
After years of being molly coddled for most of my life by parents, teachers and school officials and told what to do with my time — extra and then co-curricular activities, when to study for tests; I felt like being thrown in the deep end of the pool when asked to think about my future at 17.
I remember asking,
“How am I going to make a decision that affects the rest of my life; when I have never tried any of the choices before and have no idea what any of the choices hold?”
Some of you might have even wondered something along the lines of,
“But I don’t know what I am good at, or even what I want/like to do. Everything I’ve ever done was what I thought was expected of me.”
To let you in on a secret; most young adults are not 100% sure what they are doing with their lives — yes, this includes working professionals as well. But the point is that you become more sure as you get older. You experience more things, so you can make better informed decisions. And even if one day you find yourself 40 years old and with not a clue what you are doing with your life; that’s okay. We’ll find out. This might not be the most reassuring thing for you — but it is the truth. So whatever you choose today, you might not do it in ten years time, and that’s okay. Whatever you choose today will lead you to something that eventually brings you joy and fulfilment.
An Education In Responsibility and Dealing With Uncertainty
If there is one thing lacking in the Singapore school system as I experienced it, it’s that students come out of it not really knowing how to face life, warts and all. We shudder when there is no plan, no schedule, no top-down directive. We coast when not being badgered. We worry about grades, rightfully; but we also let grades define a larger portion of their life than it should. I say ‘we’, but I hope it’s just me.
Granted, we get a world-class public education here. Our math scores are internationally renown (though China wouldn’t bat an eyelid) and our students have won STEM competitions as well as essay writing and poetry ones. We’ve even done admirably in things like water polo (sports), painting (fine arts) and drama (performing arts).
But it’s the life skills and street smarts that we lack, somewhat.
I think the system today is getting better in that it recognises more types of talents and more pathways to a successful future and career. Many more interesting and valuable occupations are presented as job opportunities. This is very important, as we need a diversified workforce in the community, and we should make full use of our human capital — stretching every individual to their full potential, in whatever field they choose to apply themselves to.
The increase in the definitions of success also means there is no longer one set path to glory, and micro-managed students have to get used to that.
They also have to get used to the idea of uncertainty, the possibility of failure, the necessity of getting up after falling down, and the drive to try and try again.
I think this is where kids who have experienced challenges, in one way or another, whether in school or in their personal life, have an advantage. They’ve sort of been knocked around by life before. They’ve had to do things that they didn’t necessarily like, to get to certain outcomes. They’ve had to make difficult decisions before, and come out the better for it. They know that it’s okay to ‘fail’, so long as you get up. They are tough nuts in a plethora of pathways. They have the can-do spirit.
Decision stasis, or a fear of making decisions, often comes because of a fear of failure. You worry that the decision you make is going to cost you prettily. In this case, possibly your future. It’s further amplified by a lack of practice.
Going into tertiary education, perhaps for the first time in your life, especially if you are a strawberry kid like I was, you have to make a decision that you and you alone are responsible for.
You are responsible for it because if it’s a ‘mistake’, you are the one most directly affected.
If it turned out to be the ‘wrong’ decision, you are the one bearing the brunt of the consequences.
You are responsible for it also because that’s what adults do, take on responsibility. Sometimes, even in the face of the unknown.
This is a harsh reality and you can take a few minutes to cry about it. I’ll give you a smiley face for encouragement: :). And don’t worry, I was exactly the same way. Probably way worse.
Before going to tertiary education, I was completely and utterly unprepared for the level of independence it would demand of me. To give you a gauge on my level of independence pre-tertiary: I had never taken public transport before going to tertiary education. (Yes, my parents had fetched me everywhere. To morning assembly, to extracurriculars, everywhere.) And I was going to go overseas. Boy, was I in for a ride.
Still, I survived — just barely. Two and a half years after today, you can’t go back and tell your parents, “Nor, that time you tell me to do this. Now I hate it. This is all your fault that I hate my life.”
One, because you are a fledgling adult and need to start taking responsibility for your own decisions. Two, what do you want your parents to do? Call the Dean of Engineering to complain about a grade that your Ethics professor gave? Three, this is your life — only you can make it better.
Answering the question Do I Want To Study Local or Overseas, is maybe only going to solve 2.3% of the problem — it won’t alleviate your anxiety on how you might cope with this new phase in life.
Answering the question What Do I Want To Study, is bigger — but you won’t know whether it’s “right” until much later; maybe only when you’ve started working.
Answering the question Do I Want To Study For Free — is perhaps less a question on want, and more a question of balance, choice and availability.
You could answer all the technical questions, but the heart of the anxiety is that there is a great unknown, and it seems everything else that will happen in your life is dependent on this single decision point.
It isn’t.
Things change. Plans that look rock solid today might be thrown to the wind in two months. Things that look like a done deal might fall through. People who you know will and are entitled to change. Jobs that were here a decade ago no longer are, and jobs that aren’t here today will exist in five years.
By the way, in spite of all this — we should still plan and prepare. Because if you don’t, you are definitely setting yourself up for a life of aimless wandering.
So perhaps the best thing you can do for yourself is conditioning.
Condition that tertiary education is going to be this new, alien environment where you’ll want to work hard to thrive.
Condition that you might make a few mistakes (or more) and that it would be okay because you are going to stand up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward — eyes on the target.
Condition that you might not know what the target it right now, but you’ll spend every effort you can spare to figure out what it is that you want to do with your life. It may come in a few months, it might come in years. Few people have the answer at graduation (and I’m talking university graduation). It might come only after decades.
Being humble, hardworking, resourceful and resilient are possibly the most important things to have in your toolkit — and the most transferable across any sector. Also, be sincere and have integrity, strength of character and the will to see things through.
Life is a game and a journey. It’ll hit you in the stomach, throw you around and give you a few scrapes and bruises. If it doesn’t, where’s the fun in that? Sometimes you’ll scale the mountain quickly. Other times, you’ll take the scenic route. With your head in the right place and your eyes set firmly on your goals, you can do anything.
And if you are still completely at sea, check out this presentation I gave to Tampines Secondary on joining the IT industry.
Hope this helps and all the best on your new journey.
